On Twitter we were making fun of how Jessica Chobot, who became geek-famous by licking a PSP, did an encore with the PSP Vita, all the while rolling her eyes at the "dogshit stupid thing that made (her) famous".
Watch the animated gif. It's so fucking slimy. The dudes in the back cheering her on, the eyes rolled to the back of the skull, the snarky "I'm so above this" look from someone whose only achievement of any note is a calculated, obnoxious pander to dateless gamers. And she knows this, and even as she does this she rolls her eyes from the five-year inevitability and the banality of it and the fact that years later there are still these idiots in the background excited by this.
My reaction was as follows:
"I feel like when you got famous solely by selling your dignity like this and for no other reason... you should just own that shit instead."
I mean, you're the one who defined yourself by it. Next step is to put on a costume and start a gimmick blog on Tumblr where you lick all the handheld devices in the universe.
Anyway, I got this reply from Kid Fenris:
New Super Robot Wars game features the Cho-Bot, whose only method of attack is uselessly licking enemies.
I was thinking about this while I waited for the bus last night, and I wound up writing one of those Super Robot Wars 4-koma comics in my head. Maybe this is because I'm doing so many 4koma these days? Anyway, I can't draw it so the script is as follows. You can draw it if you credit me!
PANEL 1:
Super Jessica Bot is slurping on the head of a Zaku II (c'mon, it has to be a Zaku) with its gigantic, biomechanical mega-tongue. I guess it would resemble an Eva. 0 HP damage indicator is over the Zaku, of course.
PANEL 2:
Kouji Kabuto and Amuro Ray (CCA era) are looking on at the spectacle from the ground. Kouji's a little confused. A little sad.
Kouji: You know, I usually go for this kinda thing... just...
Amuro's bitterly insulted.
Amuro: It's one thing to fool around every once in a while, but this is all Chou-bot ever does! Even my old man never--
PANEL 3:
Lamia Loveless enters the scene, expressionless, attempting to walk in the brokeback pose with her torso bent 45 degrees forward, breasts flaling.
Lamia: Mission A-a-accepted... If I'm n-not mistaken.
PANEL 4:
Kouji and Amuro wave hello to their good friend with small smiles on their faces.
Kouji and Amuro: Oh, hi Lamia.
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