Subatomic Brainfreeze

On Read Or Die's new Yomiko: IT COULD BE A LOT WORSE

A lot of people I follow on Twitter are a little upset. Remember Read or Die? It was a really fun OVA series from the early 00s about a bibliophile secret agent who could manipulate paper.

It's still fondly remembered, in part due to the obvious nerd-fantasy appeal of the protagonist: she's the "cute, meek librarian" type to a tee.

So here's the Yomiko from the new ROD manga. Everybody's really pissed off about it, even though this is the only image that exists, because it's such a tremendous departure. Yomiko was one of anime's only reasonably dressed heroines, you know. I consider the new Yomiko offensive myself, but mostly because of how blatantly unoriginal this new character design is: the guy who drew Black Rock Shooter should sue!

They're trading common nerd fantasy X (the librarian, old Yomiko) for the new cutting-edge nerd fantasy straight off the Nicovideo weekly top ten. I bet the new Yomiko will be aloof, depressed and robotic. But you know, as bad as it is in cartoons, it can always get worse. As such, I decided to write a little something.

"Taro Toshokan is just an ordinary Japanese high-schooler-- until a girl falls from the Sadness Dimension into his life and changes everything!

"Are you the one who will call me into a new, ecstatic despair? Read it slowly and gently... Yomiko's heart."

This girl wants to organize Taro's shelves, literally and figuratively! But the movement of books is the least of Taro's concerns, because when a new twintailed menace appears from the Gate of Disenchantment, Taro's going to find out fast that he's got to read... or die!"

So be glad you aren't watching that anime I just made up in ten minutes. Japanese media companies, if you're paying, I'll write it.

Dear Toei, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT YOUTUBE

If you didn't know, Japanese media giant Toei requests more takedowns from streaming video sites than anyone else in the world does. This has a lot to do with the fact that they produce extremely popular anime like Dragon Ball and One Piece: in fact they just tried to sue a bunch of Americans over torrenting One Piece, a ridiculous case I doubt will go anywhere.

But I don't even want to get into the full-episode thing or online streaming. One Piece is streaming online, after all, and there's no reason Toei shouldn't ask Youtube to take down the full episode downloads that probably pop up constantly on the site. Toei doesn't just do that with their properties, though, or they wouldn't be the #1 requesters of Youtube takedowns in the universe.

Toei does its damnedest to erase any trace of any title they have the rights to from the internet. As watching Kamen Rider Fourze and Kuuga has gotten me more interested in Japanese superhero shows lately, I found out very quickly how impossible it is to find things like the openings for the shows on Youtube. And I don't just mean the current season shows, I mean any of them. Toei must have some kind of automatic deletion system going, because only the worst copies of those videos make it through. Like you might find a guy taping his TV, or a severely aged VHS copy, or something with Indonesian fakesubs on it. Search "Kamen Rider" on youtube and all that's left are the theme songs (audio only) and toy reviews. It may as well not exist.

The last straw that made me decide to write this post was when I noticed that a lovely subbed video of the opening to World Ninja War Jiraiya was removed from Youtube. Really, guys? Why? This show's gotta be thirty years old, it's not like someone's going to rush to the store and buy a $50 two-episode DVD or whatever!

Also, and this is a complaint that extends to the anime business, what possible harm is there in that 90-second sequence-- the sequence that was created specifically to advertise your show-- being freely available online? That's how people find out about shows, that's something that catches their eyes. It's supposed to. Ask fans of robot anime, we've all seen every single robot OP ever, even if the show's not available in English. I use Sasuraiger as a handle online because it sounds good, and I really love that opening scene.

The Toei thing actually gets worse, though. Toei actually has a Youtube channel where they post a large amount of full episodes their back catalog, mostly 70s and 80s stuff with a few Rider shows from last decade in there. When I saw that they were doing this, I subscribed. Well, guess what? The channel is region locked. You can't watch any of that stuff outside Japan.

So let's look at what Toei expects of you if you are outside Japan and interested in Riders or Super Sentai. Don't pirate the shows online, that'd be illegal. You want to watch them, though? Uh... go to Japan, watch them on TV, buy them on video for ludicrous prices (which is the sales model for super-fans who already saw the show on TV). If you don't want to do that, well, Toei says, our superheroes just don't exist. Please ignore the anniversary celebrations, Christmas trees, any action figures you may have on preorder, and 5 yearly team-up movies. We're in a global culture and the best thing to solve that problem is to just pretend stuff doesn't exist.

Meanwhile, import sites routinely sell out of cheapo toy henshin belts at ludicrous prices (I have an Astro Switch here, and I'm pretty sure it's just a repurposed printer ink cartridge) every god damn season, but Toei doesn't believe there's a market so you're all boned. Toei's a big, old company, and they're probably so big that people at the company know this and can't do anything about it... but policies like this don't benefit them. If anything, they are actively stunting the growth of both their existing audience and their potential audience. Youtube and other streaming sites have been powerful tools for the promotion of obscure and cult movies especially and this "it doesn't exist" strategy is a joke. We're fans, not suckers. Don't treat us like the latter.

In conclusion, I really wanted to put up some of Fourze's goofy scenes... but Toei would just have my Youtube account deleted. That's a shitty relationship to have with your fans! Instead, enjoy this Friends mashup on a site that Toei does not yet bumblingly police.

Astro Toy goes to Year Three: WHAT I THINK ABOUT JAPANESE TOYS AT THIS POINT

I've been nerding on Japanese toys for a long time, but the Astro Toy gig has really forced me to look out at lines beyond my particular interests and all around the business. It's been really interesting! Originally that last post was supposed to just be a listing of what I thought of the respective lines, but it really quickly turned into a "how and why" of the column that was much too long not to run on its own. So here's the post that was originally intended, as a part two instead. This might also function as a buyer's guide.

Figma: Boy, I have a lot to say about Figma. This is now the dominant action figure for the modern otaku, to the point where pretty much everything in otaku-world that doesn't belong to Bandai (Gundam, Tiger and Bunny, many others) becomes a Figma. Because they're the winners, it's easier to be hard on them.

Main points: Figmas are small, cheap (but not kids' toy cheap), and while very playable, their design philosophy values looks more than play. Given market trends, subjects are mostly girls. The line is perfectly average: like Revoltech, you can tell there were times when the people making the toy gave a damn (Golgo remains the best Figma I've looked at for the column by a long distance) and times when they didn't really.

Right now the review of Figma Guts is up and I found it passable by Figma standards. The reader response has been "No way! Look at that face!" There are a lot of elements that are a little cheapo-looking on that figure-- legs, detailing on the stuff strapped to the body, the mechanical arm-- but all of this falls under typical Figma for me. I don't expect amazing detail from a Figma, and as much as people don't like that face I think it's one of the better Figma faces considering how spotty they usually look. I have to wonder if my eyes are just gradually getting used to the line's middling quality.

Nendoroid is really straightforward: it's less an action figure and more a display figure that you put together. Kaiyodo used to do an Eva line like this, but it wasn't super-deformed. Pretty simple, and I can't even imagine how you'd get the idea wrong. These are fun to do columns for, but because they're so limited I try to buy two or find ones with lots of extras. Only drawback is that the stands are complete shit.

If you want to buy Figma or Nendoroid or any other Good Smile product you'd better be happy with what's out right now, because GSC's business plan is to make everything in small numbers and only do one production so that fans are compelled (or, in many cases, forced) to preorder if they want the figure. Online buyers in particular get screwed, as really popular characters like Homura sold out to preorders months in advance and were then never made available again. Figmas aren't good enough to pay insane collector markup (I've seen them go for $200) so seriously, don't even bother looking. I'm just glad I got the Kaiji figure while I could.

Revoltech: Revoltech is kind of the anti-Figma: toy first, everything else second. Heavy on visible joints and action features, something meant for the owner to actually sit and play with rather than set up for display just once. Mostly male characters and robots, given the nature of the toys. However, sculpts on these can get really ugly, especially lately. The "Fraulein" line exists but was, by all indications, a failure.

I admire these toys for the purity of their vision (Kaiyodo also sells a completely original line that's a clear attempt at Microman in an age when there are no kids left to buy that stuff), but that isn't necessarily folks' priority. Note, however, that I haven't bought a Revoltech in months because Figma has all the popular characters. This will change later.

Bandai stuff: Obviously Chogokin is my favorite. The modern Chogokin stuff strikes a balance between obsessively faithful detail, high-quality construction and playability that's just unbeatable. Every one of these I see is top-shelf, even in the scaled-down Super Robot Chogokin line.

Figuarts is a line that wildly varies in quality, to the point where I would only be able to recommend pieces individually. It is hard to believe that Figuarts' terrible figure of Kazuma from Scryed is in the same line as the wonderful Tiger and Bunny figures, for example. I'd be careful with these and take a close look before buying, but they seem to do costumed heroes (sentai and Kamen Rider) better than other stuff. They're fun to buy for the column because I have no idea what I'm going to get. I have Figuarts Fourze on preorder for my own personal enjoyment.

Bandai has a direct ripoff line of Nendoroid that's been coming out in force with Tiger and Bunny characters but I haven't had space to look at it, and it also kind of looks crap.

We have barely even done Gundam in two years. It's like this: most good Gundam stuff is in plastic kit form, and, real talk, they don't pay me enough to put in the hours involved in putting together a kit. I used to do Gunpla, and I know it won't even look good unless it's painted! Maybe if some nice diecast comes out for AGE (nice diecast Unicorn sold out a while back) we'll talk. The SDX figures are awesome though.

Myth Cloth is a pretty cool line but I doubt I'll be able to ever slip Saint Seiya into the column again, just sayin'. The huge Sagittarius figure is completely out of our range, even though it's 40% off at Amiami right now.

Other lines: Medicos' Jojo line does everything possible better than comparable lines for the same price. I was amazed to see how well-served Jojo fans are by the figure business: they must buy a lot. I keep trying to see if Griffon's Figutto line will get better, but they're basically medium-grade 1/8 PVCs with joints. Nowhere more evident than with that Marisa figure.

I am really looking forward to what Sentinel does going forward and I have a few things of theirs on order for the column (one is sitting next to me, actually), including an obvious and popular character I absolutely can't wait to get.

If all goes well with it, I'm buying something from CM's for the column soon. They only do stuff from old robot anime so it was really hard to find something of theirs for Astro Toy!

Evolution Toy's Squid Girl is the only time I've bought something so bad for the column that I'd never trust the company that made it ever again.

Mahjong Fight Scrub - SO I'M LOSING A LOT, AND...

So this image is from a week ago, when I was at my highest in the Tenhou rank-grind. 2nd dan, R1777 (starting rank being 1500, 1800 being the point where Tenhou starts to warn your opponents that you're actually good at mahjong). Since then I've been up and down in pursuit of 3rd dan (which I used to have, but I lost my Tenhou ID and those can't be retrieved). All told, I've gotten much better than I was and I'm pretty proud of that. Over the last couple of days, on the other hand, I've been in this incredible slump, all the way down to 1600R and four or five more losses to a demotion. The record's really starting to show the damage.

Now luck doesn't exist, guys, but I feel like this was the beginning of my slump. I was one tile away from a kokushi musou in about five turns (just an astonishingly lucky occurrence: I've tried for kokushi many times in the past before and never gotten it) and it gets scooped out from under me by a nothing hand. I didn't lose any points, but boy did my morale take a hit that night. I stopped for the day after that match.

That wasn't the end of it, of course. For the last few days I've just been doing miserably, and in the same kind of demoralizing ways. You can lose two ways in this game:

-you can screw up with your dumb bad discards, you big idiot, and deal into everybody

-you play smart and safe, but in this game that doesn't guarantee victory and someone else hits the jackpot.

It feels the worst when you know it was your fault, obviously. The worst of the worst is when you have an amazing hand and you decide not to let go of it despite the danger, and not only did the guy across from you have better, the guys next to you had all your winning tiles.

Mahjong is just a cruel game where terrible things will happen to you. Random chance is a fascinating thing.

What's more important is what you decide to do after getting punched in the gut like that. See, my slump is ongoing, and it's not entirely my fault... but it's also my fault. Every night I've been coming up against the same kind of complete bullshit hands, and it's frustrating when every hand you get to tenpai is thwarted, every early reach winds up leading to you dealing into some other guy ten turns later. But like everything else in this game, that's a slippery slope: soon you're so frustrated by all the times you played right and got screwed that you start playing sloppy. And I'm sure that my slump has gone on so long because so many times, usually the last game of the night, I've rolled up my sleeves in frustation, said "that's it, I'm showing this thing who's boss" and then played like a fucking idiot and dealt into everything.

It's the easiest thing in the world to say and the hardest thing in the world to do, but if you want to win consistently, you just have to keep playing well. The results will come... just not right now. I come from competitive videogames where there's deliberately no room for random chance and this stuff just doesn't happen. So playing a gambling game has been a real curveball for me, and I think accepting what comes up, whatever comes up, is the idea I have the most trouble with. It's also a life lesson.

Astro Toy goes to Year Three: THE GUIDELINES

It's been two years on this column! I'm sort of shocked it's gotten this far, and we don't do anniversary celebrations or anything like that, so I thought it would be fun to just talk about it on the blog for a while.

It was a complete happy coincidence that ANN found me, but I've been buying toys from Japan for long before I took up this column. I was into Gunpla back in high school, but eventually I didn't have room for a "workshop" anymore as those kits required to look good. That led me into Japanese action figures, and because I love robots and wanted high-quality stuff, I was led towards the high end lines like Chogokin and so on.

The last thing I bought before I stopped buying toy robots was a Max Factory Gaogaigar. At that point I was completely satisfied. By the time I started this blog I was more or less done with figures, so there was never anything on here about it.

And then a couple years ago I was recommended to write Astro Toy, and by sheer coincidence I happened to have a history with the subject. My shelves have been cleared off, and most of my old toys put in boxes to be sold off one day. My shelves are stocked again with "keeper" toys and the rest are in more boxes to be sent off to ANN or given away at cons. I'm more involved now than I was before.

Couple things about the column, straight up: I'm free to pick what I want for the column, but my choices can and do get rejected every once in a while when management doesn't think the audience would go for them. (if you've ever seen me post a figure a lot on Twitter or something and it doesn't turn up in the column, then, well...) I aim to balance a couple of factors:

-quality of toy. No gashapons, no trading figures, no cheap stuff! This is important to me because this is inherently a nitpicking column, and the low-grade stuff usually doesn't deserve to be nitpicked. Yes, the sculpt on that gashapon set is poor. The paint doesn't hold up to inspection. Of course they're crappy, the figures cost 300 yen each! "Look at this crap" is only fun when it's something egregiously terrible, like a bootleg or something.

-popularity of character. If there's a decent, Figma-or-higher piece of a character from a really popular show coming out, we're always gonna buy it. However, it must be something decent. The popular Jump series are perfect examples: yes, you can easily get a figure of Ichigo or Naruto and yes, those guys are about a thousand times more popular than anything I post about on Astro Toy. It's probably a piece of crap six-dollar toy you distract a small child with, though. If it doesn't make for an entertaining read, or if it's obviously a product that isn't worth the money (I've mentioned the Alucard Revoltech in the column: I'm still considering buying it for the column but it really does look terrible), I just don't buy it.

-features, playability. This is pretty much why we don't do fixed-pose PVC on the column. It's not that I dislike them at all, I've got quite a few: I'm just expected to write a good-sized article, and there's little you can say about PVC other than the obvious comments about sculpt and paint. Heisei Democracy did great, insightful PVC reviews and they did them in 400 words. I have to say a lot more than that. Nitpicking a PVC just isn't a full article, and stretching out your nitpicking just to get more words on the page is one great way to write a shitty, boring piece of work.

I want to avoid, by all means, the column becoming an endless, boring parade of Figma, Revoltech, and Nendoroids of popular characters. It's not that those lines are bad, it's that they're very consistent at a certain medium level of quality, and there's only so much to say about one toy line no matter how many characters it produces. Readers will get tired of it, I'll burn out on writing it. I already repeat myself so much as-is, you know?

We all have to have fun here, myself included, or what's the point of doing the column? Unusual and lesser-known toy makers and lines, classic and cult characters, figures with fun gimmicks, and sometimes indulging my own weirdo personal tastes: all of that stuff is important to mix things up, and I do go out of my way.

This makes certain purchases obligatory (the great action figures for Tiger and Bunny, the wave of Madoka figures from Good Smile, big-in-the-West properties like Trigun) and certain figures infeasible no matter how much I like them (most super robot toys, the upcoming Saber and bike PVC).

The budget is covered by ANN--I would absolutely not spend this kind of money on toys myself-- and it's pretty comfortable, in large part because of the bad exchange rate sending the prices of even average Japanese toys out of control. The added cost of international express shipping  is tremendous too. When I started, a Figma was $35 or so shipped. They're now $50-60. Anything above that level starts to get into crazy land really fast. Barring big sales, really high-end lines like Real Action Hero or Soul of Chogokin are just out of the question.

When there are holes in the schedule, I try to fill them with deliberately wacky choices that the crowd either loves (nobody loved that near-defective Squid Girl, but the article was a success!) or hates (robots elicit near-total silence from the ANN crowd, but I buy one every couple months anyway). Again, I think it's really important to cover this weirdo stuff to give people a view of things that aren't even commonly found in Japan. It also means that since I'm constantly looking through toy listings, every once in a while I see something I really want for myself but can't possibly justify for the column... so I wind up spending my own money on it (Alter's Dizzy, Kamen Rider Fourze). Honestly, though, that's pretty rare. Last thing I bought for myself was Weissritter to complete the set with Alteisen: can't really justify buying the companion piece for the column when the readers didn't care about the hero!

Speaking of which, I'm always curious about my crowd reaction. I don't know anything about my pageviews, so I definitely use the forums as a microcosm of audience interest. Of course, given the very niche nature of the column, going by number of comments isn't a great idea... but when you get a crickets-chirping response you definitely take it into account for later. Only very rarely do I get hostile responses ("this column should be about PVC instead of ugly, boring crap!" was as bad as it ever got), so I think I'm running things alright.

So it's been a lot of fun, and I plan on continuing to run Astro Toy until either I no longer have time to run it or ANN gets rid of me. Thanks for reading the column, and an additional thanks to those of you who actually stuck it out through this mega post.