As you might be aware, the boys and I over at Colony Drop have entered into an agreement with Mr. Hanamura, a longtime friend of the blog, and his enterprise. We're obviously extremely excited about the Battle Flash Blaster project, and I've been wanting to tell you all about it for months now. What follows is some of the working script that I've been slaving away on for the past few months between hooker reviews.
PAN across a DESOLATE POST-APOCALYPTIC HELL-SCAPE. We pass a number of limbless corpses.
BOOMING RAOH-LIKE NARRATOR
'Sup bros, you chillin'? Listen, back a long time ago, there were these old, crazy-rich dudes who got p. mad at each other over some country club shit, and believe it or not that's why everything looks real fucked up right now!
SEPIA-TONED FLASHBACK of ELDERLY MEN BEING DEVOURED BY WOLVES.
BOOMING RAOH-LIKE NARRATOR
Luckily they got eaten by wolves real quick, you know? But now shit is whacked! Check it out.
POWERSUITED THUGS RUN WILD in VILLAGE, pulling GUTS out of CITIZENRY
THUG SKIPS ROPE with GUTS while LAUGHING.
BOOMING RAOH-LIKE NARRATOR
Daaaaamn! But I heard there was one motherfucker out there who doesn't let shit pass. I heard there was a dude out there who--
NORIO WAKAMOTO
BATTLE FLAAAAAAASH
VILLAGE is enveloped in SCREAMING PINK LASER LIGHT: SOULS OF DAMNED are VISIBLE in BLAST. VILLAGE reduced to CRATER.
BOOMING RAOH-LIKE NARRATOR
A bad, bad motherfucker with no mercy for fools!
SLOW PAN up NORIO WAKAMOTO, now revealed as BATTLE FLASH BLASTER: important DETAILS include AVIATOR SHADES, KILLER 'STACHE, ASSHOLE SMIRK.
BATTLE FLASH BLASTER
Don't look so surprised, I'm your fuckin' backup I will shine more brightly than God.
TITLE CARD
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